Shocking as it may be, even in the two-thousand and twenty-third year of our Lord, there are still men and women who don’t smoke weed. Not only that, they may even hate it. Now we may be long-haired, pot-smoking progressives here at RYOT, but we believe that even people who don’t smoke deserve love. You can quote us on that!
But in seriousness, what should a stoner do when they find themselves in a relationship where one member doesn’t tolerate weed? RYOT brought in as many love doctors as we could find to get the best advice.
Communication is key.
The first step is to discuss why they don’t like or can’t tolerate cannabis. Is your partner a narc? Or do they just not like the smell? Do they have a previous history with drugs that they no longer relate to? Do they mind if you smoke, or is it a choice that’s personal to them? All of these questions can help you both assess how viable the relationship will be with one partner smoking.
As you discuss their reasons, avoid immediately bringing up solutions. This can make it seem like you’re not listening to what they have to say or trying to convince them that their concerns aren’t valid. Instead, listen to everything they have to say, ask follow up questions to make sure you understand what their concerns are and then propose a couple of solutions to discuss. Remaining as respectful as possible will give you the best results in making your partner feel heard and valued, as well as in convincing them that weed is freaking rad and you should be allowed to smoke it.
Keep it honest.
Throughout the communication process, it’s important to remain honest. This means telling the absolute truth about why you like weed, how often you smoke, how much you smoke, and how much you spend. These kinds of discussion points are often sensitive and there’s temptation to lie or exaggerate about how little you smoke, how often, and the reasons why. This is especially true if your partner sees smoking as problematic and you’re motivated to convince them that it’s not.
If you’re truly listening, you may need to concede points to your partner. As much as everyone at RYOT loves weed, every now and then our partners have a point that maybe we smoke too much and it’s time for a tolerance break. Use your partner’s concerns as a jumping off point and discuss the issues that come up together, whether their concerns are moral, financial, or practical in nature. Earnest discussion will help you find negotiation and points of compromise that can help you both find peace and understanding.
Try to compromise.
If you find that your partner’s concerns are practical, such as not liking the smell of cannabis, you can work to find compromises that are acceptable to both parties. For example, you can agree to only smoke in one room, use smell proof stash containers, or only smoke outside. This allows you to get the pick-me-up you need, without offending their delicate olfactory senses. If their issue is more abstract, such as feeling like weed distracts you from the relationship, you can compromise by finding ways to spend more time together or focusing on your relationship more mindfully.
Give plenty of space.
One of the mistakes stoners often make when they learn a loved one doesn’t like weed is trying to change their mind. You are not a missionary in the church of Cheeba Kush. If someone tells you they don’t like smoking out, trust that they’re an adult capable of making those kinds of choices. There’s no point in trying to convince them to have the same hobby as you. Instead, you can graciously invite them to join you and leave it at that. Just as nobody wants to be harassed by their gym-rat boyfriend to go lift, nobody wants to be bugged about smoking roaches.
Be ready to break up.
Sometimes small problems in a relationship can become irreconcilable differences. While most of us would be happy to give up smoking for the love of our lives, some of us are already married to Maryjane. If you feel like you can’t give up weed and your partner isn’t willing to let you smoke, it may be time to call things off and find partners you can both be happy with.
As harsh as it may seem, major lifestyle differences like this can put strain on relationships that can lead to constant conflict. You can both save time and energy spent fighting about weed and enjoy each other’s company as friends instead.
If you find yourself back on the market, you can let everyone know you’re available with RYOT’s Playboy line of products, including 4-piece grinders, dug outs and one hitters, and portable vaporizers. Regardless of gender, nothing gets people interested like flashing that iconic bunny and inviting them to share a joint back at your place. When you eventually get married, be sure to register at RYOT.